Mindfulness

Dr. Larry Cohen Therapist and Life Coach in Voorhees NJ (856) 352-5428 Contact NJ Therapy & Life Coaching

When working with clients, we discuss what being mindful is and why it is so essential. Being mindful of your thoughts and emotions can be life-changing. How? The cognitive model of emotions and behaviors explains that your thoughts lead to your emotions, and your emotions lead to your behaviors. To change your emotions and behaviors, you must be mindful of what is happening from moment to moment.

Mindfulness is having a non-judgmental awareness of your thoughts and emotions, which allows you to change your behaviors. I tell clients they must question or attack their negative thoughts as they OCCUR. What we think is called self-talk. Being mindful allows you to consider and question your self-talk. Mindfulness helps you to be self-aware and promotes emotional regulation. When you are mindful, you see life challenges with greater clarity, allowing for thoughtful solutions to problems.

Learning to be mindful takes practice. To learn to be mindful, reflect on how you feel - what emotions are coming up inside you - once per hour during the day. Name what you feel: pain, fear, anger, guilt, shame, joy, passion, or love. Then work backwards. Why are you feeling the way you are? What thoughts are you having that may have led to the emotions you are feeling?

To change your feelings and behaviors, it is essential to question your self-talk. Is what you are thinking accurate? Mindfulness allows you to name your emotions and the thoughts that led to them. Negative thinking leads to negative emotions and feelings of low self-worth. Challenging your self-talk will enable you to challenge and correct your negative self-talk and, as a result, change how you feel.

Emotional regulation can be something you struggle with due to past emotional trauma. Mindfulness helps you manage your emotions. By being aware of your feelings at the moment, you can decide if your feelings are appropriate given the situation. For example, experiencing a minor setback can make you feel like giving up. After questioning your thought process, you will realize that the problem in front of you can be solved. Feeling like giving up doesn’t make sense. Mindfulness enables you to be more open-minded and adaptable and lowers struggles with negative thinking.

It is essential to have self-compassion, and being mindful helps you to be more self-compassionate. By accepting your mistakes and the flaws you have simply because you are a human,  you can lower feelings of self-judgment. Mindfulness helps you challenge self-criticism and enables you to build your sense of self-worth.

Mindfulness also helps you build healthier, more meaningful relationships with others. Your moment-to-moment awareness helps you to be more aware of the needs of others. It allows you to be more accepting of and less judgmental of others, such as your partner, family, friends, and co-workers.

Ultimately, being mindful helps you to choose how you behave and not just react. When you are not mindful, you are unaware of your thoughts and emotions, leading to reaction and not action. Read more in the posts on Negative Thinking and Correcting Thinking Errors.

If you are aware of your thinking and how you feel from moment to moment, you can choose how to behave. Being mindful can change how you live your life. Mindfulness can eliminate negative feelings and thinking by allowing you to challenge your thoughts, change your emotions, and choose how to behave.