How To Overcome a Lack of Motivation to Change Your Life

Dr. Larry Cohen, Therapist and Life Coach, NJ Therapy and Life Coaching in Cherry Hill NJ and Voorhees NJ (856) 352-5428 Contact NJ Therapy & Life Coaching

When people come in for therapy or life coaching, one crucial issue that emerges is the level of motivation they have to change. You are coming for therapy and life coaching for one reason: to change - whether this is to change a behavior, change your way of thinking, or change your emotional life.

Lacking the motivation to change makes change almost impossible. This is when you know where you want to go in your life and what you would like to do or succeed at, and you simply can’t muster up the motivation to get there. You are stuck.

A primary goal of therapy and life coaching is to help get you unstuck and find the motivation to move forward. Therapy allows you to examine your life challenges and gain insight into them. What thoughts and attitudes are at the root of the problem? Where did they come from? In therapy, you may focus on your past trauma, how your family of origin may have impacted your adult life, and what core beliefs or thoughts you may have that contribute to the problem.

Life coaching helps you identify and accomplish your life goals. Most often, this is finding greater happiness and contentment, figuring out what is blocking you from reaching your life goals, and resolving what is blocking you from achieving them. In life coaching, resolving mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, or substance abuse must first take place if you are to do what you must to meet your goals. This is when therapy becomes necessary, and once your mental health struggles are resolved, life coaching re-focuses on other blocks to success. Whether you are participating in therapy or life coaching, nothing will change without you having the motivation to change.

Lack of motivation can be the direct result of mental health problems such as depression and anxiety. When you are depressed or anxious, being motivated can seem impossible. Just taking a shower or doing laundry can be a challenge. When you are depressed, you are in a hole, unable to function, unmotivated as a result. If you are highly anxious (anxiety is fear), you can become frozen and unable to move forward in any way. How can you change if you are frozen and afraid?

Changing takes insight, discipline, and emotional focus. Researchers Prochaska and Diclemente have identified these 5 stages of change. Each stage is a state of mind or attitude, and as the stages progress so does your level of motivation.

Stage 1 - Pre-contemplation. This is the stage when you aren’t even able to conceive of making life changes. Sometimes you aren’t even aware that you need to make life changes.

Stage 2 - Contemplation: In this stage, you begin to acknowledge that there is a problem and consider the possibility of making a change. You may list reasons why you should change and start thinking about what you can do to begin to change. This is the seed from which motivation grows.

Stage 3 - Preparation: In this stage, you begin to prepare to make changes. You begin to identify life goals and figure out how to reach them. What problems are you facing? Do you want to participate in psychotherapy? Or, are you interested in finding a life coach? You identify the steps you must take to change. In the preparation stage, your commitment to change takes hold, and you become willing to take the action necessary to begin your change process.

Stage 4 - Taking Action: In the action stage, you operationalize your plans to change. You may begin therapy or life coaching, or make life changes that are crucial to meeting the goals you have set for yourself. You may change your behaviors, speak up, and turn to friends and family for support, or make other changes that are required to meet your life goals (for example, finding a new job.) The action stage is when you have conquered feeling unmotivated, and you dedicate your energy and focus to making the life changes you have set out for yourself. This begins when you start therapy or life coaching.

Stage 5 - Maintenance: In the maintenance stage, you commit yourself to the work necessary to maintain the changes you have committed to. You do what is necessary to not fall into a hole and become unmotivated. This takes discipline and emotional energy. Here, not only are you continuing to change, but you are also mindful of the attitudes and behaviors you experienced before you became willing to make life changes. You avoid old or unhealthy behaviors, and you stay focused on the changes you have made and how to maintain them. You continue to grow and change in therapy or life coaching and make necessary changes to maintain your progress. The maintenance stage is necessary because to maintain changes you must continue to monitor them so that you experience lasting life change.

Through emotional focus, professional guidance, and the support of others, you can break through and become motivated to change your life. You will find what you have been looking for all along. Dedication to the process of change is the key to success.