Psychotherapist and Life Coach Dr. Larry Cohen, Marlton NJ, Cherry Hill NJ, Voorhees NJ (856) 352-5428 ContacT New Jersey Therapy and Life Coaching

Learning About and Overcoming Financial Insecurity

My therapist recently pointed out that I have considerable anxiety about money. She asked, “How much money do you need for your family to feel safe and comfortable?” I worry about my business when there is nothing to worry about. I’ve been a therapist for 30 years, and, she pointed out, I think about money as I did when I first started. I was an unknown therapist with an excellent education but not nearly the experience I have now. I remember sharing my first office with another therapist; after about 6 months, she moved into her own office as both of us were busy and needed more available hours. My practice has been a success ever since. Why would I worry about my business today? It doesn’t make sense. This is financial insecurity.

So, what gives? After a few minutes, it hit me: My financial insecurity and the anxiety it causes come directly from my mother. I know it sounds like I’m blaming Mom. Today, I own it. I’m too old to blame anyone for my thoughts and behaviors. I remember the feeling I had when it occurred to me that one of my family values growing up was worrying about money. But now that I know where it came from, what can I do to change it?

Where Does It Come From?

As a therapist, I have learned that financial insecurity can start for a variety of reasons. The depth of the trauma one experiences in the beginning often dictates continuous, lifelong problems. It can start because of a job loss, large amounts of credit card debt, or unexpected expenses like medical bills. Here, I will explore the roots of financial insecurity, its psychological effects, and practical strategies for coping with and overcoming feelings of powerlessness and fear.

I have discovered that financial insecurity can create anxiety, depression, and feelings of low self-worth and self-esteem. When you constantly worry about your finances, you can have trouble sleeping (thoughts of worry reel in your head), difficulty focusing, and problems in your intimate relationship (being cheap!) Your stress and anxiety can create a sense of isolation and hopelessness. This affects your ability to address the problem in a helpful way.

What To Do

Mindfulness and stress-reduction techniques can help you fight off feelings of financial insecurity. Mindfulness is being aware of your thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help ground you in the present moment. This can reduce your feelings of stress and anxiety. Challenge your thoughts - reflect on why your stress and anxiety are more significant than reality reflects. When you challenge your thoughts, you can change your view of reality (your perspective) and see your financial world with a clearer vision.

If you think it would help, create a realistic budget. Having a budget allows you to gain a better understanding of your actual financial situation. Writing it all down can help, as it helps you understand your situation better and help you formulate a plan if needed. By tracking income and expenses, you can determine where to cut costs and prioritize essential spending needs. This helps you feel a greater sense of control over your finances.

Cognitive Restructuring

Another practical approach is reframing negative thoughts about your finances. In therapy, you will learn how to use cognitive-behavioral approaches to help you challenge irrational beliefs about money. For example, transforming thoughts like “I’ll never be financially stable” into “I am taking steps to improve my financial situation” can change your perspective and lead to solving problems, not worrying about them.

Learning problem-solving skills is also crucial in addressing financial insecurity. You need to assess your circumstances and identify specific challenges you are facing. By brainstorming potential solutions and evaluating their feasibility, you can take purposeful action rather than feeling lost and helpless.

Perhaps most importantly, learning to have a healthy long-term perspective on financial planning can alleviate your financial insecurity and worries. Understanding that financial stability is a journey can help you focus on incremental progress rather than becoming overwhelmed by the bigger picture. Recognize that setbacks are part of this process. This can cultivate patience and perseverance.

Setting realistic goals is another effective coping mechanism. If you are facing financial insecurity, you may feel disheartened by your current situation. Establishing achievable short-term and long-term financial goals can provide direction and motivation. Breaking larger goals into smaller, manageable steps can create a sense of accomplishment and progress, helping you have a more positive outlook. Celebrate the small victories to build self-confidence and reinforce the belief that change is possible.