By Therapist and Life Coach Dr. Larry Cohen, in Marlton NJ, Cherry Hill, NJ, and Voorhees, NJ (856) 352-5428 ContacT New Jersey Therapy and Life Coaching

Learning to Advocate for YourselF

My clients have complained that a doctor isn’t calling them back or that they aren’t receiving the best care. As my clients struggle with low self-worth, they can feel like they aren’t worth advocating for themselves - and many clients don’t understand what it means to advocate for themselves.

Advocating for yourself means taking the necessary steps to get what you need, no matter how difficult. This can involve getting an appointment, a medication refill from your doctor, or something simple like getting someone to call you back. Self-advocating means that you recognize that no one else can solve your problems.

To self-advocate, you must believe you are important enough to advocate for. Therefore, self-advocacy is essential when building self-worth or improving your self-confidence. Ask yourself: would you advocate for a friend or relative when they need help? If yes, then you must advocate for yourself.

As a therapist and life coach, I have witnessed firsthand the profound impact that advocating for yourself can have. Self-advocacy involves understanding and articulating your needs, rights, and desires while understanding interpersonal relationships and “how things work” in our society. Self-advocating is not just being assertive. Your value must be respected, and others need to see you.

Taking Control

When you self-advocate, you are taking control of your life. This is when you have health issues, as described above, but also in your work and personal relationships. Communicating your needs and boundaries creates a greater sense of control over your life circumstances. Feeling this empowerment can’t help but improve self-esteem and self-confidence. When you feel that you can influence the world around you, your sense of self can’t help but improve. This feeling will have a positive influence on mental health issues such as depression.

One of the critical steps in advocating for yourself is developing mindfulness (self-awareness.) Being mindful involves taking the time to reflect on your feelings, needs, and values. You must discover what you truly want and how your needs can be met. Journaling, mindfulness practices such as meditation, and having discussions with trusted friends or your therapist can help you discover your needs and wants. You can speak more effectively with family, friends, and work colleagues by clarifying your desires and boundaries.

Learning to Communicate Effectively

After self-awareness comes learning to communicate assertively; this means expressing your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly while being respectful of the feelings of others. Assertiveness is different than aggression as it does not seek to dominate. It is affirming your personal needs and wants.

“I” statements can help you practice assertive communication. Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” you can say, “I feel unheard when my opinions are dismissed.”

Your Rights as a Person

You need ALSO To understand your inherent rights as a person. You have the right to express your needs, make your own choices about your life, and ask for support from others when necessary. Understanding your rights can serve as a powerful motivator for self-advocacy. Educating yourself about specific rights related to health care, employment, or education can enhance your ability to advocate effectively. Knowledge is in standing up for yourself and ensuring that your voice is heard and what you say is taken seriously.

Self-advocacy requires resilience. Life can be difficult, and not every attempt at self-advocacy will be successful. You may encounter resistance or misunderstandings from others. It is important to remain persistent and to view these challenges as opportunities to grow rather than as failures. Navigating these obstacles can strengthen your advocacy skills and lead to greater self-confidence.

Remember that advocating for yourself can lead to changes in the world around you, your relationships, and your workplace. For instance, employees who speak up and suggest improvements can help create a better work environment.

Advocating for yourself is essential to building greater self-worth and self-confidence. Recognize that you are important enough to be heard. You empower yourself and strengthen your value by learning to advocate for yourself.