When Should We Go To Marriage Counseling?

Learn to Rekindle Emotional Intimacy

Dr. Larry Cohen, Therapist and Life Coach in Voorhees NJ (856) 352-5428 Contact NJ Therapy & Life Coaching

Connecting with your partner on an emotional level is one of the most essential parts of maintaining a healthy marriage and relationship. Over time, you and your partner may feel less connected - some couples say that they have ‘grown apart.’ Re-establishing the emotional intimacy in your relationship leads to greater closeness and happiness in your relationship.

Is It Time To See A Marriage Counselor?

Marriage counseling can significantly improve emotional intimacy in your relationship. Emotional intimacy refers to the ability to connect deeply and authentically with your partner, sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a safe and nurturing way. A marriage counselor can help you navigate through challenging issues and strengthen your emotional bond.

Relationship therapy should provide a non-judgmental, safe environment where you and your partner can say what you need to say without fear. In your relationship, you may have trouble with communication as you may struggle to share your deepest thoughts and fears. A therapist can help you learn more effective ways of communicating.

Resolve Unresolved Conflicts

Couples come for marriage counseling to identify and address unresolved conflicts. Conflict can destroy emotional intimacy and lead to distance, resentment, and even contempt for each other. In couples therapy, you identify your problems, talk them through, and work to resolve the problems you face. As a marriage counselor, I help you learn conflict resolution skills and how to have calm, useful conversations. By discussing your relationship problems openly in the safety of my office, you can rebuild trust and rekindle emotional intimacy.

Marriage counseling can also help you both better understand your emotions and behaviors. Through individual and couples therapy, the therapist will help you understand the behavior patterns that hinder emotional intimacy. By understanding these patterns (passive-aggressive communication is often first), you can address underlying issues and learn healthier coping strategies. This is often the most important part of rekindling your emotional connection.

Understand Your Partner's Way of Seeing

Another way marriage counseling rekindles emotional intimacy is by helping you to improve your understanding of where your partner is ‘coming from.’  This requires empathy between you and your partner, and a marriage counselor will help you improve your empathic understanding of each other. You will learn to have greater empathy for your partner and see things from their perspective, not just your own.

Misunderstandings are often caused by not understanding what your partner sees as most important in the relationship. Greater understanding of each other can’t help but support emotional intimacy. You and your partner can begin to integrate what is most important to you both and help you to validate each other's needs.

Talking About Your Desires And Fears

You can’t be serious. Yes, Marriage counseling allows you to explore and express your needs as well as your fears. You may not tell your partner your deepest desires and fears because you may fear rejection or even being ridiculed for them. In therapy, you are encouraged to be vulnerable and honest. This openness strengthens emotional bonds as you feel seen, heard, and validated.

I provide education on how to nurture emotional intimacy. I offer guidance on ways to deepen emotional connections, such as doing things that are meaningful to you or your spouse. Identify what you would like by writing it down. Then, combine your list with your partner’s list. Even if what your partner wants to do isn’t what you want to do, it is essential to adjust and do things that your partner wants to do (and not just force what you want on your spouse.) This strengthens your emotional bond by showing that you care about what is important to the other.

Marriage counseling also helps you navigate major life transitions. Whether it's raising your children or adjusting to retirement, major life changes often strain relationships. The couples therapist can provide guidance and support during these transitions, helping you to adapt and maintain emotional closeness throughout your life.

It is essential to learn to heal from past hurts and traumas that may be affecting current emotional intimacy. Unresolved issues can poison your emotional connection, making it difficult to trust and feel emotionally connected. In therapy, you will have the opportunity to heal and forgive. To learn more read about Love and Commitment and marriage Counseling and empathy.

Regular therapy sessions offer a space to reflect, identify challenges, and make adjustments as needed. The support that a marriage counselor provides can ensure that you stay committed to rekindling and deepening your emotional intimacy.